slick or pleat?

October 31, 2009

Fucking Halloween!

What a great time to sit at home cursing about the candy that you’re not allowed to have. So, here we are, bringing you the best in Halloween pants, or at least what we could find.

We start with the essentials.

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Check out these hardcore little pirates, they may be pint-sized but these pants pack a punch. Firstly we have some amazingly beautiful blue and purple striped slacks, and to make things better, THEY ARE CUT-OFF IN ZIG-ZAG! This cat has no time to even his cuffs out, no no, if you’re wearing these pants you’re too busy laying sieze to my candy stash.

Now our other little man is styling his pants tucked in! He may have the same zig-zag style but he won’t let you see just yet. These pants not only show off your amazing boots but allow for great storage for all your loot.

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Now I’m not too sure about tights but these are just fantastic! This too keen sonofabitch has the sexiest Zebra legs I have ever seen. Tied off with the hankie and some loose fitting boots, even an inflatable guitar for those beautiful sub-saharan camp fire sing-a-longs.

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Now then, we find ourselves staring at a half naked man, my god! If I am correct, Halloween is terribly popular in America, and a might be on a roll here, but isn’t it snowing there these days. Never the less these Shalimar pants keep the air flowing, and can create great static electricity for you to perform party tricks with balloons.

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What better way to please a Halloween crowd then wearing soft toys!

WITH A TAIL!?!!?!

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Listen here young man, I’ve had enough of you and I’ve had enough of those pants. Actually no I haven’t, I want them, with a low crutch and elastic waist, who wouldn’t?

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These my friends are the PARTY PANTS! We have had dreams that this day would come, and it has! Just outstanding mr. pants man, fucking outstanding!

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Now we can’t mention Halloween without leather pants, oh wait, we can? Yea ok yes we can.

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Now this! THIS! This is the ultimate scenario of when a drunk group of tailors come up with an idea for a Halloween costume. My god people, these pants are farting at you, all day, everyday. If I were to wear these pants I think I would break my back from bending down countless times in front of everyone in my city. So keep these pants away from me you heartless bastards, I know I can’t have them, but I want them, I want them so bad! In fact I just realized you might not be able to sit down in these, can one squash a fart?

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If the fart pants aren’t enough for you, then let’s step it up and go the whole mile. What better thing for that bitch old lady to see as you walk away with the last of her butterscotch candy and pension money. Fuck people up and say proudly that you indeed have bowel problems, and you wear white pants and nothing else.

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Your mother or grandmother is a goddamn legend my friend.

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I know, I know! This guys pants aren’t that great, just simple denim. But seriously best Halloween costume ever made. But sir you look nervous, as the countless nerds descend upon you, what better way to impress the ladies than to solve the fastest running rubix cube.

 

We here at We Love Pants don’t really like you that much Halloween, you kind of piss us all off. But still, well played you crazy Pagans, the world of kick ass pants has alot to thank you for.

– We Love Pants

 

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